Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
