Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize