You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Randomize
