So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Randomize
