I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
