Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
