singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
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