yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
