Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
