butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
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