Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
