RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
