Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
