if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize
