No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
wow bdsm is so cute
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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