I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
