You work out of a Hotel?
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
