i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I'm too high and old for this...
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