Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Randomize
