I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
