She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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