I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
