Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I should be sponsored by Trojan
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Randomize
