Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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