think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Randomize
