I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Blood and glitter go together right?
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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