Say something about gay babies.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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