Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Randomize
