i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
