Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
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