I am in a vortex of obligation.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
We need to get me chipped asap
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
