you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
