she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
