Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
