"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Randomize
