It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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