Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
