And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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