Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
