Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
