he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Randomize
