Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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