i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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