Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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