Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Randomize
