adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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