Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Randomize
