i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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