I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
