i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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