so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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