She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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