I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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