JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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