I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
