You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
