I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
