You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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