Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Randomize
