Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
he wants to bone in the snuggie
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Randomize