It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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