Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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