I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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