# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
