Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
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