I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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