Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
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