So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
