But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
