have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
