eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I wish you could order shots online.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
