woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Randomize
